Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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