i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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