Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
