are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
