We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
