meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Everything about him screamed your future.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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