She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
