goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize