I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
