Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
