ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize