I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
