Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
