Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
