So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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