He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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