I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
