yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
