Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
