Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
