rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she peed on how many people?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
