I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
