tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
