how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize