So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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