you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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