I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
