can we get nightvision for the apartment?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
