i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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