You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
