to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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