dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
