So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
