I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
