so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
