Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
