Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
