She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
