areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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