we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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