Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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