my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
