Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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