are you so shy because you have an std?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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