Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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