He disabled his match.com account in front of me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
