I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
