that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
