Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
