Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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