The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
