I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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