What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize