I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
