Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
