How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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