shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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