the day after is always just damage control
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
