he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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