I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize