All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
