just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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