Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize