If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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