Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
